The other day, I was trying to explain something (I don’t remember) to someone (who knows). This part I do remember: although the sentences were well formed in my brain, they were coming out all wrong.
For example, the sentence in my head was formed as such: “Did you know that many insurances recognize Lyme disease and treat it with a short round of antibiotics, but chronic Lyme disease is a completely different story and often not recognized as a ‘real illness’?”
This was how it came out: “Did you know that programs see chronic Lyme as not a real illness, I mean insurance company’s, you know, but Lyme disease itself, not chronic Lyme, you know, is treated with antibiotics, sometimes anyway, and it’s like, a few day’s worth anyway? I mean by doctors?”
If you are not completely confused by this post already, I congratulate you; you have a much wiser, more alert and smarter brain than exists in my own head.
But this often happens to me, and of course at the most ridiculous moments: a sentence in my head, well-formed and with proper English language that would impress a PhD graduate, comes out of my mouth with words all
JUMBLED…. OUT OF ORDER…. CONFUSED…. and so MIXED UP
that even I often stop and wonder what the heck I am trying to say.
LYMIES: many of us have this symptom. Let me encourage you: when this happens, know that it often seems ridiculous to others. Just know that. We cannot help that. And after knowing and accepting that, GO WITH IT! I often laugh and say,
“YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY OWN LANGUAGE… AND IF YOU CAN’T KEEP UP, I TRULY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. I’M WORKING ON MY OWN DICTIONARY TOO…I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED.”
Yes, you feel ridiculous. I often feel discouraged and mad at myself, wondering why the heck I can’t even speak the one language I know.
But Lyme is to blame, and blame it we shall! For our brains have been affected by this terrible disease, LYMIES; often the part of our brain that affects our speech is inflamed and there is nothing wrong with US, as a person, but there is something wrong with our bodies. (Did I mention LYME?)
Take heart, LYMIES: and comment on this post if you experience this same symptom. After 13 years of dealing with chronic Lyme disease, I have learned to laugh at myself when I can.
May I help you do the same?