Is LYME more important than LIFE?

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Every day,

this question haunts me as I continually seek the best way to live my life with chronic Lyme.
 

LYME has taken over most of my LIFE

without my permission or control; that is the nature of the disease and certainly after thirteen years, that is the nature of CHRONIC LYME disease in a person’s body. 
 

Some days, the parts of LIFE that I cannot participate in include basics such as

  • exercising (too little oxygen),
  • going to movies (too loud & theatre is too cold),
  • doing errands (brain is very foggy and body is too exhausted),
  • talking on the phone (again, too little oxygen, as well as brain fatigue and fog),
  • cooking (brain fatigue and fog, body exhaustion),
  • or even reading, one of my all-time favorite habits (extreme muscle and joint pain so that holding a book up would be *too much,* brain fog and fatigue, strain on eyes, behind which are four or five headaches engulfing my entire head in their painful, pulsing grasp).

Other parts of LIFE,

such as travelling, dating, going to school, working multiple jobs or working in an intense field, are parts that often overwhelm me so much with even the THOUGHT of them, I cannot even begin to think of how I would actually fulfill them. 
 
LYME has grown over those parts of my life, in many ways; the symptoms listed above are only a few of the side effects of this disease that plagues me chronically, assuring as time passes and the symptoms and chronic pain increase that

LYME *IS* my LIFE.

For now.

But I wish, and I hope, and I WORK HARD,

 towards the day when the question posed above will not even be an issue

 LIFE and LYME will always co-exist for me. 

Lyme disease is my life; however, I work towards the day when Lyme does not CONTROL my life and I can make decisions

based on what is going on in my LIFE,

not what is going on with my LYME disease.

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2 thoughts on “Is LYME more important than LIFE?

  1. I know it’s hard. I know that sometimes it feels overwhelming. Living with Lyme isn’t easy. I have had Lyme since I was a child. But there’s one thing you need to understand about living with a long term disease, Lyme isn’t your life.

    That was a hard lesson I had to learn a while back. Lyme is a sick monster, it feeds more on your emotions than anything at all. Your Lyme isn’t going away. But only YOU can tame it and push it back. The more thought you put into Lyme, the more it reacts. If anything, most Lyme doctors will tell you that the more you focus on every ache, symptom, icky moment the worse it feels.

    I know you might not want to hear it right now. I didn’t!

    The best way to fight Lyme is to forget about it. Live your life happy. Understand when you have pain that comes from nowhere that it’s going to be there for just a little while til the pain moves someplace else. Anxiety is the most common symptom of Lyme and when you concentrate on something that you are afraid of, like pain, you WILL increase your anxiety and your pain.

    Be well. Find your happy place. Don’t live being controlled by Lyme. Live happy.

  2. Crysta,
    Thank you so much for your comment. I went to your blog and read your personal story, explaining how you have dealt with Lyme since childhood. I know how difficult it can be to put your story into words and share it with others; however I, for one, am very grateful to other Lymies who are willing to do this because every story is different and we can all learn from each others experiences.
    Your advice to be well, find my happy place, and not be controlled by Lyme are key factors in keeping LIFE and LYME balanced – a hard lesson to learn, but one that I know you have gone through and I truly appreciate your advice!
    Keep sharing, and keep talking!! Getting to know other Lyme bloggers has been so helpful to me. It’s an online community that often encourages me to keep on as I prepare to “celebrate” almost 14 years of being chronically ill with this disease and daily fight to ENJOY LIFE, no matter what Lyme has to say about it!

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