Will I ever get better?
Will my fight against chronic Lyme ever be over for me?
These thoughts cloud my mind and determination to fight and sometimes… I give up.
I’ve worked so hard for nearly fourteen years, been so determined, and tried again and again to heal only to face failure in my attempts.
Failure teaches us lessons, sure… but with the battles of chronic Lyme facing me, trying with all its might to crush me under its weight, sometimes my knees buckle and I fall to the ground.
I have no strength to get up, even though I must. I have no inner determination to continue fighting, even though I have no choice. I have no positive spirit, no ability to dream of days when I will be well.
Those with chronic Lyme experience the same battle; young people with chronic Lyme especially have reason to succumb to these thoughts as the disease
threatens our youth and steals our ability to
pursue a career, finish our education, succeed in a relationship or become independent.
Sometimes facing reality is too much for my Lyme-riddled brain. Other people, young people especially, who are facing chronic Lyme know this same feeling.
It’s a reality that I face daily. I learned long ago that no easy answer to the fight against chronic Lyme exists for me and in all likelihood, my fighting will continue for years to come as I struggle to simply survive.
To those who understand my words, know that there are people in the world who feel your inner pain and struggles.