As mentioned in my previous post
(THE LOSSES OF LYME: BELIEVING IN THE POSITIVE),
the struggle to simply live life as a LYMIE has a tremendous effect on your outlook of life. It can get so unbelievable difficult and for good reason; with high levels of pain, muscle and joint aches, headaches, immune deficiencies and fatigue, the thoughts running through your brain easily tends towards a loss of hope and impatience to heal.
The last thing you want to spend energy on is making sure you have a bright smile for everyone you meet, an encouraging word for friends you talk to, and an ability to see the bigger picture.
It took me almost 8 months to find medications that helped my brain over the “hump” of the inability to view life with any kind of positive attitude. For a long time I thought this inability was my own fault. It took years to understand that depression and anxiety, by themselves, are illnesses; it took even longer to realize that my depression and anxiety came from chronic Lyme disease.
It isn’t easy, getting through these side effects. I truly believe that the psychological ramifications of Lyme can be more difficult to deal with than the pain that hits your body.
It’s so easy to focus on the negative – in fact, because of how depleted our systems are of basic nutrients and the ability to fight the battle that rages within due to Lyme disease and co-infections, the negative aspect of life simply surrounds us and threatens our souls, not to mention our individual personalities.
When I began putting quotes on my bathroom mirror, where I was “forced” to read them daily no matter how crappy my day was, the quotes began to shine through the glass… they reminded me that I, SHELBY, am NOT Lyme disease…yes, my LIFE is Lyme disease right now, but my INDIVIDUAL SELF IS NOT LYME. Because my personality is daily pounded by a tremendous force that hits my body with crashing waves every day, it has truly been good for me to see quotes or sayings that remind me that I still have a personality.
And it will, some day, shine through like a beacon instead of inching its way through the fog of pain and fatigue.
Below are some quotes that are totally me – they are my personality, they are my positive influence, they remind me I’m not a disease.
YOU are not your disease, dear reader. YOU are YOU, even if you don’t recognize yourself at times.