After my last post (10/19/13) regarding loss of sleep, I have had more than a few nights of restless tossing and turning, willing myself to fall asleep but failing quite miserably.
Sleep is like a secret weapon for those with chronic illness:
it silently allows your body to heal and gives you strength to get through the next day.
When sleep evades you, your body goes back into a “fight or flight” mode, using energy you do not have while withholding the healing you desperately need. Other symptoms seem to double in strength after the sun slowly rises on your restless soul with a force and power greater than you can overcome.
For me, anger and tears often follow these nights. Why can’t my body settle into enough of a peaceful mode for just a few hours? Why am I fighting my body on this issue after engaging in this same fight all day? Why can’t my body realize that it is draining me of energy that, after engaging in war throughout sun-filled hours,
is running on empty?It’s easy to get frustrated when sleepless nights are common. Sleep is SO important when you are trying to heal your body from the beating it has taken during the days, weeks, months, or years of illness. When my body or mind is restless and hours pass without allowing me to fall to sleep, I get up and try to fill the next hours with books that I love to read, computer work that I enjoy doing, or movies/TV shows I enjoy watching.
A famous figure I admire and try to emulate once said,
“I can walk through h*** with a smile.” That quote however, takes on a whole new meaning for a LYMIE.
“Walking through h***” is possible, yes; but for those with illness or chronic disease, “walking through this new CLASS of h*** called THE DAILY REMINDERS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE PAIN OR PSYCHOLOGICAL AGONY“ is the reality we face as we experience the layers of this dark place surrounding our bodies and minds.
How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might try busting
myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself,
slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I
can remember any of the d*** things. ~Dorothy Parker