A Lymie climbs many mountains and goes through many valleys. Each mountain consists of many trials, some so difficult that walking is impossible.
During those times, a Lymie has no choice but to sit down and wait out the trial, getting through it moment by moment, hour by hour.
I’m climbing a mountain right now called Sleep Mountain. I haven’t climbed very far however, because I have been forced to sit many times to get through trials and difficulties. Take last night for instance.
Fighting a migraine and trying to sleep do not go hand in hand, but I was doing my best to make it work …The past days have been filled with nights of sleeplessness, but I desperately want to break the pattern and find a way to sleep peacefully after the lights go out. Last night’s brave attempt was met with tears and after hours of fighting for my beauty rest, I suddenly wanted to stop.
Why fight again? My mind was overcome with the darkness surrounding me. Why fight, why even win for tonight, when tomorrow the battle will begin again, and again the day after, and again the day after that? Tears spilled down my cheeks as my head bent low with defeat.
I did wipe away the tears and pick up the fight again, gaining me a few hours of rest…eventually.
But Sleep Mountain is still a difficult climb, and I have a feeling the next knock – me – down trial will occur tonight, after others have snuggled under their blankets and fallen asleep peacefully and soundly, without giving it a moments thought.
Sleep…so important for those who are sick, but so evasive to many Lymies, including myself. You wonder why we sleep late in the morning, sometimes until early afternoon? Judge us you may, but we are making up for countless hours of sleepless nights. Countless hours.
I look forward to reaching the top of this mountain and making up for some of those hours. Sleep Mountain will appear again and again as I walk through life – it’s a curse caused by Lyme disease.
But right now I want to reach the top of this mountain and sleep without fighting for hours to do so. Forget Beauty Sleep; I just want Sleep.