Before going into my struggle with weight, I would like to say this: a number on a scale does not a person make.
Inner beauty is the kind of beauty that lasts a lifetime and is not diminished by wrinkles or age. It is more important to measure yourself in strength than in pounds. Loving yourself, no matter what your size, makes you a truly beautiful and confident person.
These are facts I try to keep in mind during this fight. However, my struggle with weight is also about my struggle with better health. Because of this, I have decided to share my fight with you and ask for any advice you may have.
**The following story may cause triggers for those with eating disorders
Since getting Lyme disease in 2000, I have had significant struggles with my weight.
And before you ask, it isn’t because of eating habits. I have been on various diets since the age of 16, three years after becoming ill.
The first time I put on weight, I was on a juice diet. My meals literally consisted of nothing but juiced vegetables and almonds when necessary (to maintain blood sugar levels). Many people report significant weight loss while juicing but not me; my body put on thirty pounds.
Even worse, I couldn’t seem to lose the weight despite my best efforts.
It was because of those extra thirty pounds that I became addicted to an eating disorder in my early 20’s. The eating disorder was started as a desperate attempt to shed those extra pounds, but unfortunately, after losing 50 pounds in 6 months, I discovered I was addicted to the disorder and couldn’t stop. It took several years to recover.
Two years ago I was on IV antibiotics and because my system was completely overloaded with bacteria, Candida and liver issues, my body put on nearly 100 pounds.
Read that again.
That’s correct, nearly 100 pounds. And no, I wasn’t eating a bunch of crap; I was sticking to a gluten-free diet and rarely eating more than one meal per day.
My LLMD put me on a whole new lifestyle called the Paleo diet. This however, is not a diet to me; it is truly a lifestyle choice that I will most likely stick to for the remainder of my days. Thanks to going grain-free, sugar-free and dairy-free, my body has shed nearly 80 pounds.
Unfortunately, I cannot shed those last few pounds despite increasing activities such as exercise and time in the infrared sauna. The extra weight feels like a punishment in some way and I know that strangers blame ME for not being “the correct weight.” Even one of my doctors has commented that I need to change my eating habits and “lose some weight!”
My life isn’t perfect but I truly want to get back to a healthy weight. Not just because I am vain, although I openly admit to enjoying a good image. My liver is under some strain and losing the extra weight would be wonderful for my health.
The type of weight I’m dealing with is Visceral fat (fat around the stomach area). According to Dr. Josh Axe (a personal hero of mine), this type of fat is very dangerous because it is stored around a number of important internal organs such as the liver and pancreas. My chances of getting diabetes are escalated because it interferes with hormone regulation. Visceral fat can cause mood changes, sleeping issues and lack of energy.
Most Lymies, from what I’ve seen, experience the opposite of this; because of nausea and stomach issues, they are often under-weight instead of over-weight. However, for those of my readers who are chronically ill and going through similar issues, do you have any tips or insights for me on how you maintain a healthy weight?
While continuing to stick to a grain-free, dairy-free and sugar-free diet, I drink close to 100 ounces of lemon water per day. Exercise and saunas are done as often as possible. However, I refuse to restrict food again (I did that enough with the eating disorder and do NOT want to go back to those habits).
The fight against dangerous fat is underway!